I prefer blonds in my bed

Most nights, I share my bed with two blond gentlemen named Jasper (after the national park in Canada, not Twilight) and Bogie (after Humphrey Bogart, not golf). 

I've decided I like blonds because the hair doesn't show as much on my light-colored counterpane. 

Jasper (on the left) and Bogie, peacefully snoozing away.
After a brief discussion, they decided they too liked the word counterpane instead of bedspread, because it flows off the tongue nicely and sounds more romantic. 

They, like many males, hog the space and the covers, snore, and thrash around in the middle of the night. They are primarily motivated by food and demand that I wake up early to feed them, because we need to eat RIGHT NOW.

Oh thank you, you've saved me a narrow sliver along the wall. How kind. 

I admit, I'm weak, and I just can't say no to faces like these. (And they're both way more difficult to move than you'd think.)

They don't seem to get that curling up at the end of the bed would be an excellent option for them, but not so much for me. Some of us have legs a few feet longer than others of us, and therefore appreciate a little more space...