A quick whine about toilets in Asia

I miss toilets. After 8 weeks of travel, I'm homesick for toilets. Nice ones, where the seat is attached (and stays attached for the duration of use), and ones that have seats. Ones that don't spurt water from the pipe all over the floor when flushed. Ones that don't bubble up on you while you're sitting there, giving your nether regions a wash (luckily I was about to take a shower, which I promptly did). Ones that don't require hovering, ones where your tush can safely land without threat of immediate infectious disease. Ones that aren't cracked, and that are cleaned more than once a year (if that), and ones that don't smell like half of Asia and his brother have peed all over them.

I miss not having to wear shoes in the bathroom because the floor is covered in a 1/2 inch deep puddle from the leaking toilet and the shower, which drains through a hole in the floor. I miss bathrooms where the toilet and shower are separated, where the shower is contained in a tub, and where you're not bumping into the toilet and knocking the loose seat on the floor during your shower because the bathroom is that small. I miss not having to roll up my pant legs so they don't get soggy as I drop my drawers. I miss being able to assume that every bathroom will have toilet paper, including hotels. I miss toilets that flush, and not having to pour a bucket of water down the hole, which works better than I imagined in some toilets and not at all in others. I miss being able to flush my used toilet paper. In some places here, I miss having a trashcan in the bathroom because I never remember to look until it's too late, and then what do you do?

There are many reasons to travel through Asia. However, the bathroom facilities are not one of them. Particularly the bathroom facilities you will be forced to utilize when traveling Asia with Max Seigal, the king of cheaper-than-cheap hotels (generally only marginally nicer than sleeping in the gutter). However, a quick thank you to the US government for successfully preparing me for Asian bathrooms (and hotel rooms) by putting me up in some very, shall we say, Nepalese/Thai-quality housing for various internships. You should put that on the SCA website as a perk- housing will prep you for international travel!

Countries visited: 5 (Vietnam, Singapore, Malaysia, Nepal, Thailand)
Number of decent toilets in said countries: 3