Lauren's kayaking adventure in Thailand

I suppose the title is misleading, in a way. You're probably now expecting some epic adventure account, a multi-day saga with pirates, no food, native Thai people and language barriers, some sort of heroic rescue, and then a celebratory bonfire and feast on the beach. No, sorry. I wish it involved all that. The truth, as usual, is much less glamorous. Anything that involves puke is generally unglamorous, I find. Throwing up is a universal leveler, brings us all down to the same miserable state of being. Though, of all the places I've thrown up in, emptying my stomach contents over the side of a kayak just off a beach on an island in Thailand in front of at least two restaurants of people enjoying their lunches is definitely the most exotic. My friend, who was a patron in one of the restaurants, said he thought we stopped to look at some fish, which gives me hope that I didn't put anyone off their food. I would like to apologise to my other friend, who was in the kayak with me, politely adverting his gaze, covering his ears and humming loudly. Apparently the waves were a little rough, and his foot might have gotten splashed a little. I'm sorry, but it did wash all over my legs too, dangling off the side, if that makes you feel any better, and I was slightly preoccupied at the time so I wasn't able to monitor the currents properly. I'll try to do better next time. I've never thrown up in public before, nor in a kayak, so I'm unfamiliar with the proper protocols in these situations.

In the future, when I decide to jump in a kayak with someone who wants to paddle to a distant island a good hour away by constant paddling (one way) over choppy open water, I'll try my best not to feel nauseous for the entire trip out and back. Also, I'll try to void my stomach contents before almost making it back to the beach, keeping in mind the wave patterns, wind speed, and current so as to avoid any splashage. I'll also work on being more discreet and trying to avoid such public stages for future barfing episodes, of which I fervently hope there are few (or none, none would be okay too). Now that I've ticked off throwing up from a kayak from my list of firsts, I've no desire to repeat the experience. Been there, done that, moving on (with the aid of Dramamine and some Pepto-Bismol).

Oh yes, we are having a splendid time here in Thailand.